Again with the Self-Compassion...

People who come to Brave Space (occasionally or regularly) notice it is a space filled with compassion. As a trauma survivor, I didn't always have a compassion practice. I spent the bulk of my life being really harsh with myself, pushing through, and carrying on in spite of overwhelming needs to go slow, to take better care of myself, and to notice my own suffering. 

I have lived with endometriosis and ulcerative colitis, migraines and celiac disease. I also have other medical issues like chronic pain and exhaustion that I never even bothered to find diagnoses for because of all the shame doled out by most of the doctors I saw. I just went on. Illness eventually stopped me in my tracks, and I spent 20 days at Allen Pavilion Hospital in 2014 finally seeing how sick I was and deciding to do something about it. 

Even when I started studying trauma coaching with Dr. Aimie Apigian last year, for the first few months, I refused her suggestion that I support myself at my desk with a pillow. Why bother? Isn't that just for people who need it? I'm better now! I don't need all that paraphernalia... But when I eventually decided to just try the pillow, got up and got the pillow, what a difference I felt in my body! 

“Oh!” many of my parts noticed, you're taking us seriously now! 

Softening couldn’t happen til I let it. Healing couldn't move forward until I let it. I was frozen in a suck-it-up attitude. Yes, years ago, but also weeks ago! Our habits are habits!

I am trying to say that self-compassion is a practice that we work on. Resistance is a part of each of us. We can learn to befriend it and work with it as a part. But we don’t get very far unless we can come from an open place of curiosity and kindness. Right attitude is necessary for shift. And when we're tensed up trying to protect ourselves from further harm, it's hard to find the path of curiosity and kindness. 

Toward that, I'll be teaching a Writing & Trauma Class on Saturday March 18th from 4-530pm ET for anyone interested. It's not only about self-compassion; it's about hands-on somatic practices to help regulate our systems. 

I hope you'll join me!